Most people are surprised when they discover that I am single and then they assume that being single I must be looking for a man. Nope, not me.
After three years, singleness now feels like a comfortable pair of flats after having my feet squeezed into four inch heels that are half a size too small! The flats feel so good that I now look at those heels, that once made me look statuesque and feel authoritative, with unadulterated contempt.
If you had asked me yesterday afternoon – why are you single? I would have taken a deep breath, as I do, and replied with my well-rehearsed answer “I’m not ready for the type of man I would like to be with”. I thought that was a good enough reason – until I used it on my girlfriend E when we met for dinner. We’ve been friends for 12 years so she knows a fair bit about me and with the lyrical flow of a seasoned rapper she catalogued all the reasons why I was qualified and stated quite emphatically “that any man (when I’m ready) must be worthy of me”. I was speechless. Everyone and I mean EVERYONE needs a friend like E.
So, I will fall back on the other reason why I am single – I’m enjoying myself (really I am) and here are some of the reasons why:
- Sleeping alone in my king size bed (no prizes for guessing where my favourite place to be is then) – I can sleep on the left, right, in the middle – even horizontally if I feel like it. And most importantly my sleep is uninterrupted by blood curdling snoring
- I can reinvent my style whenever I want. Did I have to consult anyone before shaving all my hair off? Nope but I would have if I were in a relationship
- Freedom to impulsively go anywhere in the world that I want. So what if more recently it’s only been up to Manchester to see Mini Me?! Some of my most memorable holidays – Barcelona, Dubai, St. Lucia – have been when I have traveled solo. I’m a little more outgoing and chatty – talking to complete strangers and discovering things I probably wouldn’t otherwise.
- Predictability (which contradicts point 3 but bear with me) – when I return home everything is exactly as I left it. The remote is where I left it. The bed is as I left it. I don’t have to sulk because no one washed up – it’s my job to do (and I can leave that too if I want)
- Cooking elaborate meals for one isn’t fun or cost effective so I cook when I feel like it (usually once a week)
- I have more time to give to my friends – especially my other single friends
- My sexual health isn’t an issue because I’m celibate
- I can volunteer for different things at church
- I’m far less anxious and this means I am far more creative
- I can develop the areas in my character that are weak – getting me ready for the man I will be with one day (I should really delete this point but maybe E won’t read this so … moving swiftly on)
- I can flirt shamelessly – I mean look at men appreciatively and thank God for His creation
Do some of my points sound a little self-interested? Errr … hello? Exactly! The pleasure of being single is being available to live for you and having more to give to others. No apology needed here – so none offered.
Of course there are the odd occasions when I miss being coupled up, for instance being sick and single SUCKS! If it wasn’t for my wonderful friends I would probably expire alone in my king size bed from a common cold!
It’s not my intention to spend the rest of my life single in my comfortable flat shoes because the truth is I really do love my heels – but for now … it’s all about the comfort baby!