All the single ladies put your hands up

singleladiesBeing forty *cough* something and single I should be restless and keen to be in a relationship right?  No, not me.

Most people are surprised when they discover that I am single and then they assume that being single I must be looking for a man.  Nope, not me.

After three years, singleness now feels like a comfortable pair of flats after having my feet squeezed into four inch heels that are half a size too small! The flats feel so good that I now look at those heels, that once made me look statuesque and feel authoritative, with unadulterated contempt.

If you had asked me yesterday afternoon – why are you single?  I would have taken a deep breath, as I do, and replied with my well-rehearsed answer “I’m not ready for the type of man I would like to be with”.  I thought that was a good enough reason – until I used it on my girlfriend E when we met for dinner.  We’ve been friends for 12 years so she knows a fair bit about me and with the lyrical flow of a seasoned rapper she catalogued all the reasons why I was qualified and stated quite emphatically “that any man (when I’m ready) must be worthy of me”.  I was speechless.  Everyone and I mean EVERYONE needs a friend like E.

So, I will fall back on the other reason why I am single – I’m enjoying myself (really I am) and here are some of the reasons why:

  1. Sleeping alone in my king size bed (no prizes for guessing where my favourite place to be is then) – I can sleep on the left, right, in the middle – even horizontally if I feel like it.  And most importantly my sleep is uninterrupted by blood curdling snoring
  2. I can reinvent my style whenever I want.  Did I have to consult anyone before shaving all my hair off? Nope but I would have if I were in a relationship
  3. Freedom to impulsively go anywhere in the world that I want.  So what if more recently it’s only been up to Manchester to see Mini Me?!  Some of my most memorable holidays – Barcelona, Dubai, St. Lucia – have been when I have traveled solo.  I’m a little more outgoing and chatty – talking to complete strangers and discovering things I probably wouldn’t otherwise.
  4. Predictability (which contradicts point 3 but bear with me) – when I return home everything is exactly as I left it.  The remote is where I left it.  The bed is as I left it. I don’t have to sulk because no one washed up – it’s my job to do (and I can leave that too if I want)
  5. Cooking elaborate meals for one isn’t fun or cost effective so I cook when I feel like it (usually once a week)
  6. I have more time to give to my friends – especially my other single friends
  7. My sexual health isn’t an issue because I’m celibate
  8. I can volunteer for different things at church
  9. I’m far less anxious and this means I am far more creative
  10. I can develop the areas in my character that are weak – getting me ready for the man I will be with one day (I should really delete this point but maybe E won’t read this so … moving swiftly on)
  11. I can flirt shamelessly – I mean look at men appreciatively and thank God for His creation

Do some of my points sound a little self-interested? Errr … hello?  Exactly! The pleasure of being single is being available to live for you and having more to give to others.  No apology needed here – so none offered.

Of course there are the odd occasions when I miss being coupled up, for instance being sick and single SUCKS!  If it wasn’t for my wonderful friends I would probably expire alone in my king size bed from a common cold!

It’s not my intention to spend the rest of my life single in my comfortable flat shoes because the truth is I really do love my heels – but for now … it’s all about the comfort baby!

singleness

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3 comments on “All the single ladies put your hands up

  1. AdiC says:

    I was discussing this very topic with my friend today and came with reasons varying from, I wouldn’t want to trade my time hanging with the many amazing guy friends for only one amazing boyfriend to why being single is better than being with the wrong one et al! I’ll show your post to my friend for sure 🙂

    • Hi AdiC – thank you for standing with me on this one! If I’m honest my list was a little conservative – I’m pretty sure I could come up many more reasons LOL! I would love to hear what your friend thought too 🙂

  2. Tolita says:

    Amen to this. I really appreciate the sentiment. We single people have to be our our own best friend because the world is so quick to judge and/or pity us. However being single and content is like a best kept secret. If so much wasn’t predicated on one’s marital status more people could be enjoying it too.

    I really liked points 3, 7, 8, 10 and 11. Flirt away…responsibly of course. Even as single Christians we can appreciate God’s handiwork. There’s so much of it out there!

    I think 10 applies at all times. If anything we should want that for ourselves full stop.

    I like the final six positive observations perhaps even more. ‘I’d rather be single than someone who settled’. Fantastic 🙂

    Keep up the inspirational work.

    Shalom x

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